That's mine: Teaching the Art of Sharing

Teaching a child to share can be challenging, but it’s an essential skill for social development and long-term happiness.

Sharing enables children to coexist peacefully, whether it’s sharing toys, space, snacks, or adult attention.

Sharing fosters:

Empathy
Patience
The ability to delay gratification
Health relationships

Conversely, difficulty sharing can lead to social and emotional challenges. In a Montessori context, sharing is taught through modeling, respect, empathy, structured opportunities, and a supportive environment.

Sharing Through the Stages at PCA

Infants

At this stage, children are naturally self-focused and unaware of others’ perspectives. While sharing isn’t a realistic expectation, adults can model sharing and turn-taking to prepare infants for future social skills.

Toddlers

Toddlers mimic adult behavior, including sharing. By age 2 to 3, they begin to understand concepts like “mine” and “yours,” though they may struggle to share. Modeling, consistent leadership, and reinforcing the value of sharing can help toddlers develop empathy and social skills.

Early Childhood

Preschoolers start to grasp fairness and empathy. They can practice taking turns with assistance and cooperate in structured activities. At PCA, the foundation laid in earlier stages allows children to demonstrate independence, resilience, and responsibility as they begin to share.

Kindergarten

By kindergarten, children are usually comfortable with sharing and turn-taking, thanks to years of consistent reinforcement. They engage in cooperative play, negotiate social rules, and work together to solve problems, embodying PCA’s values.

Strategies to Teach Sharing

Model Positive Behavior

Demonstrate Sharing: Share your food, blanket, or time and describe your actions:
- “I’m sharing my popcorn with you because I know you’ll enjoy it too.”
- “Here, take some of my blanket to stay warm.”

Use Positive Reinforcement:

Praise specific actions, like waiting for a turn or sharing a snack:

“I loved how you waited patiently for your turn with the blocks!”
“That was so thoughtful of you to share your pretzels with your friend!”

Create Structured Opportunities to Practice Sharing

Plan Sharing Activities: Organize games or group projects that naturally involve taking turns, such as building tasks or collaborative art.
Integrate Sharing Into Routines: Make turn-taking a natural part of the day:
- “I’ll take an apple slice, now it’s your turn.”
- “Let’s set the table—I’ll place the napkins, and you can place the forks.”

Facilitate Problem Solving

Guide Conflict Resolution: When disagreements arise, help children find solutions:

“How can we solve this so everyone is happy?”

Encourage them to express feelings and listen to others’ perspectives.

Role-Play Scenarios: Act out real or hypothetical situations to practice sharing. Let your child experience both sides, taking the role of the sharer and the one waiting their turn.

Foster a Supportive Environment

Set Up Sharing-Friendly Spaces: Use communal toys, materials, and snacks to promote cooperation. At PCA, we intentionally limit activities to one of each type, encouraging children to wait and take turns.
Establish and Enforce Limits: Maintain a consistent routine around sharing and taking turns. Repetition helps children internalize these skills.

Nurturing Children as They Learn to Share

Encouraging sharing and turn-taking takes patience, gentle guidance, and practice. Adults should:

Model sharing behavior.
Praise children when they share or wait their turn.
Create structured opportunities for cooperative play

Meeting Children Where They Are

For children who aren’t developmentally ready, avoid forcing, punishing, or shaming. Continue modeling and emphasizing the importance of sharing, meeting the child where they are.

By creating a supportive environment and understanding each child’s developmental stage, parents can teach sharing in a way that builds genuine empathy and fosters long-term social success.